


A Touch of Insecurity

by friendsofthemusain24601



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Bluebird is the cutest nickname ever, Courf will take care of his baby, M/M, Marius deserves protection, i promise my writing is better than my tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 10:35:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18892906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendsofthemusain24601/pseuds/friendsofthemusain24601
Summary: Marius has never received affection before. His roommate is more than willing to help acquaint him with it.





	A Touch of Insecurity

Marius wasn’t a sad person. He was a very happy person, that unfortunately no short amount of bad things had happened to. Still, a year and a half into law school with great friends and an even better roommate, he was doing fine. How could he not be, when he had finally escaped the house which had filled him with so much terror?  
The other Amis didn’t know, it hardly seemed important to mention when they were fighting poverty, world hunger, homophobia….. the list went on. The Amis were doing important work, and he couldn’t bog them down with the knowledge that he had been disowned or that he was in an abusive household in the FIRST place. They had a protest to plan for, after all, and he didn’t dare imagine how well Enjolras would take it if he interrupted their important work with his nonsense- he was fine.  
Sure, he was working two jobs, studying to be a lawyer, as well as continuing his dedication to the ABC, but he was doing fine, relatively speaking. If he was being entirely honest, Marius was stressed. What he needed was…. he didn’t know exactly, but he wasn’t getting if. Sighing, he readied himself for the meeting after a double shift of work and tried to steady his shaking hands on the table. E would begin speaking any minute, and he needed to pay attention. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“I’m merely stating, the best way to about the issue might not be to directly combat it. I think the odds that we can get the administrators or local police to suddenly take the abuse of sex workers seriously is- it’s not even worth considering.” Marius protested from his seat. “Enjolras, I implore you to see reason.”  
Enjolras’ eyes flared with barely concealed anger. “You are a fool to think reason evades me. I have calculated the risks, completed my research, and assured every measure is in place so that we might reach success with our endeavors. Yet you doubt me? What right do you have to question how we go about our causes, you’ve barely just become a member of the ABC! Our methods are tried and true, a mixture of networking, protesting, letter writing, and petitioning all come together to create a successful ordeal. What we don’t need is your useless, ignorant doubt, simply because you are too insecure and pathetically afraid of failure that you refuse to try.” E spat out.  
With shaking hands Marius stood and gripped the back of a chair, trying not to let his nerves run noticeably rampant. He was about to open his mouth in protest, but his guardian angel must have finally decided to step in, because that that exact moment someone else joined in on the conversation with blazing fury. Only it wasn’t anyone you would expect.  
Courfeyrac sent his own chair flying, standing abruptly, voice piercing through the air with swift iration. “Enjolras!” he scolded, “For Christ’s sake, can you not see he is trying to help? Or are you entirely too stubborn to acknowledge your friends care about you and that we want you to succeed.” He scoffed in disgust, “Come Marius, let’s go home.” He was helpless to not follow, letting Courf seize his wrist and gently pull him out of the Musain.  
They walked in silence along the street for a few moments, heading towards their apartment before Courf broke the prolonged quiet. “Are you alright?” he softly inquired, “He doesn’t mean what he said, he’s just been stressed lately. We all appreciate what you have done to help us, myself included.” He reached up his hand to lightly ruffle Marius’ hair in a gesture of goodwill, but much to his confusion the willowy man uttered a yelp of what could only be described as sheer agony. Courf blanched immediately, he didn’t think he pulled his hair or anything? So why on earth should he cry out?  
“Bluebird?” he raised an eyebrow, asking why.  
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Marius rushed out, trembling, “I uh- just. Shit.” This was most unlike him, their dear Pontmercy did not swear practically ever, and although he was nervous and flighty at the best of time the uncontrollable shaking was new.  
Courf stared up at him in concern, “Darling, are you alright?” he stepped closer to hold his shoulders so that he could force eye contact, hoping to gage his expression better that way, so that he might understand to some degree what’s going on. The shaking only worsened, Marius swaying to and fro like a bamboo tree in heavy wind. In fact, he was shaking so violently that Courf could only assume he was cold and he stepped closer, wrapping him up in a hug.  
“Is that better, mon frere?” He was happy to assist and provide any warmth necessary. Unfortunately, Courf severely misread the situation, and escalation was quick to occur. God knows how it was possible, but Marius shook even MORE severely, trembling so harshly that Courf swore he would break in two and he whimpered softly.  
“Are you going to h-hurt me?”  
Courf’s head snapped up immediately. “What?!” he asked a tad too loudly, causing Marius to flinch back further. “What?” he amended, softer, apologetic. “Of course not, what on earth would make you say so? You’re one of my best friends and I love you.”  
Marius began to cry, “I k-know, but whenever grandfather touched me it h-hurt.” he stammered out, petrified with agonizing fear. The boy was so terrified his breaths caught in his throat, hands cold and clammy at his sides. He couldn’t handle this situation, and was shutting down.  
Courfeyrac froze and clarified, ever so quietly, “He hit you?” Marius continued sniffling in response.  
“Y-yeah, he said it made me stronger. I need to toughen up, clearly… so he’s right.”  
Courf’s mouth gaped to the floor and he shook his head vehemently. “No no no no no, Daffodil, he has not been right about anything. Ever. You do NOT hit a child, Jesus Christ that is so far from okay. You don’t deserve that, you are so kind and good.” He tripped over his own words in insistence. “You deserve nice things, love affection, cuddles.” he frowned deeply, “I am so sorry, I should have noticed. I have failed you.”  
At that, it was Marius’ turn to shake his head. “N-no, you didn’t fail me Courf. You are a good friend, I didn’t WANT anyone to know. Besides, he disowned me so… what’s done is done.” He hiccuped out a cry, breaking Courf’s heart.  
“Still, I should have noticed.” He stepped slightly closer, hesitant. “Can I- I really would like to hug you right now if that is okay. It doesn’t have to be, and if they make you uncomfortable we don’t even have to try, but it might make you feel slightly better.” He suggested hopefully, hands gripping at his sides with desire to reach out and hold the man in front of him.  
Marius frowned thoughtfully, still hiccuping through tears. “Um, I wouldn’t know- if they make me uncomfortable that is. I haven’t been hugged before. Unless you count the half hug that I ruined a few minutes ago with my freak-out.” he remarked blandly.  
In a pinched voice Courf stepped closer yet, “Okay I- as long as you have no objections, I really really feel like I need to hug you right now peony.” Slowly he stood against Marius and wrapped his arms around him loosely, waiting for confirmation that this was okay from the younger man. At first, he was a statue, unable to move for anxiety and the fact that this was so painfully new, and Courf went to remove his arms after a few moments, taking the lack of response to mean that he actually wasn’t okay with it. That’s when Marius all but melted against him, whimpering as he tried to remove his arms and squeezing tightly around his waist. He pressed his face into the crook of Courfeyrac’s neck, still trembling and whimpering, clinging to his collar for dear life.  
“Please please d-don’t let me go.” He didn’t know when he would next be touched nicely again. Courf merely lifted a hand to smooth his hair down.  
“Shhhh never sweetheart, I won’t let you go. We should get you home though baby, I want to take care of you.” The street was no place for an interaction such as this; Courf needed to help his poor roommate. He needed to ease him into being comfortable with the sweet affection he deserved.  
Marius nodded, slowly untangling himself from Courf and stepping back, despite the fact that he wanted to wrap himself up in Courf’s warmth and hide in his embrace forever. “S-sorry about that. We can go home, I’m not going to bother you w-with this nonsense anymore. I shouldn’t have said anything.”  
Courf shook his head profusely. “Bluebird no, that’s not what- I just want to take you home and love you where you will be more comfortable.” At those words Marius’s ears grew pink, a slight smile spreading across his face.  
“O-okay.” He allowed his companion to lace their fingers together and lead him home, stroking his knuckles every few seconds.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Now that they were in the safety of their own home, Courf didn’t hesitate for one second longer. He stepped up immediately, helping Marius out of his jacket after shedding his own. “Shhhh Bluebird, you’re shivering.”  
“S-sorry.” His eyes were wide, still petrified. What he really wanted was another hug, but he feared asking for it.  
Courf gently placed one hand on Marius’ shoulder, sweeping his thumb to and fro. “Shhhh love, you have nothing to apologize for. What can I do?” He softly pressed.  
“Hold me?” He whispered with a broken voice. “S-sorry, I just, it didn’t hurt when you touched me and I’m n-not used to it.”  
Immediately arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly. The corners of his lips twitched up, not quite in a smile but being in Courf’s gentle embrace helped a lot. “T-thanks Sunshine.” He pressed his forehead into the crook of Courf’s neck. “This is n-nice.”  
Courf smiled lightly. “Oh yeah? I’m glad, my sweet boy.” He gently kissed the top of his friend’s head. Deeper crimson blossomed across Marius’ cheeks, and he was beyond grateful that his face was safely hidden away in the warmth of his friend’s skin. After a few moments passed, the two entwined impossibly tightly Courf broke the silence. “It’s getting late and I know you didn’t get to bed until late last night-” he began, but Marius was already shaking his head emphatically.  
“N-no no, Cou please d-don’t send me away don’t stop holding m-me, I don’t w-want it to stop. It m-might not happen again.” He quietly begged, tearing Courf’s heart in two. Gently he smoothed back the hair off his forehead and attempted to placate the still obviously anxious boy.  
“Baby, I would never send you away. Shhhhh hey it’s okay, we can get in bed together, does that sound alright?”  
Marius nodded, “Y-yeah, okay.”  
Courf flashed him a reassuring smile and led him into his bedroom. “C’mere sweetheart.” He pulled back the covers and slipped inside, opening his arms for Marius who hesitantly joined. Immediately Courf wrapped him up tightly, pulling the other onto him and nuzzling against his neck. “Hi you,” he purred, “How can I calm you down sweetheart?”  
Looking entirely helpless and confused like a lost puppy Marius admitted, “I d-don’t know, no one else has ever tried.”  
Humming thoughtfully Courf slipped a hand under the base of his shirt and began carefully rubbing Marius’ back to soothe him. “Shhhhh that’s okay, I’ll do my best and if it is too much or you don’t like anything you can tell me and I’ll stop okay angel?”  
Marius had tensed at the original contact but he nodded. “Okay.” he quietly assented. “Mmm that feels really good.” he mumbled as Courf traced circles over his skin.  
“Yeah?” he asked, massaging a knot in Marius’ tight shoulders. The poor boy was too stressed.  
“Y-yeah.” he managed to squeak out, uttering little happy noises and soft sounds of relief, the tender touches making all the difference in the world.  
“I’m glad.” he replied, stroking down his spine with love. “I want to take care of you.”  
“R-really?”  
Courf frowned, “Of course daffodil.”  
Now it was Marius’ turn to frown. “Why?”  
“Because you deserve it. Because you haven’t been taken care of before. Because I love you.” The words were out in the open now, he couldn’t take them back. Heart pounding uncontrollably in his chest Courf held his breath, waiting to hear a response.  
“I love you too.” Marius sleepily murmured, burying his face in Courf’s chest and finally relaxing.  
Courfeyrac let out a small sigh of relief; Marius was too out of it to realize the true meaning behind his words. He ran his fingers through Marius’ hair slowly. “You should sleep bluebird.”  
He cuddled closer, insisting “M’ not tired.”  
Courf chuckled and kissed the top of his head, earning an adorable sleepy bleat of appreciation. “You so are. Go to bed little lamb.”  
Marius remained quiet for several seconds before whispering, “Will you stay with me?”  
“Of course I will.” he snaked his arms around his waist, cuddling closer yet.  
Marius nodded, hair brushing Courf’s skin at the motion. “Thanks, I can’t really sleep by myself.”  
Tightening his protective grasp Courf softly vowed, “Anytime you need I will help, I promise this will happen again. Anytime you want or need, I will hold you. Okay?”  
Smiling Marius turned his head and nestled snugly underneath Courf’s chin, “Thanks Cou, I trust you. Goodnight.”  
Courf carded a hand through Marius’ hair to lull him to sleep, softly answering. “I know you do bluebird, I would never betray your trust. I will take care of you, I swear it.” By this point the person of his affections was well into sleep, dozing comfortably on his chest. He knew he was safe in Courf’s arms. “I will protect you little lamb.” He meant it too. Courfeyrac fell asleep hours later, satisfied by the knowledge that he was protecting the love of his life, and he always would.


End file.
